With all the
flurry of preparing for a move, the feelings of our most prized
possessions — our children — can sometimes get lost
in the shuffle. Odelia Pacific Properties offers the following tips
to make the move and transition easier, for both the kids and their
parents. Buying a new home should be one of the most exciting times
for children and their families. Moving can be a fun experience
by fostering communication, being a good listener, and by creating
excitement about the adventure that lies ahead.
Before and During the Move
Children typically follow the example of their parents when adjusting
to a move, so a positive attitude on your part can go a long way.
Describe the move as a new adventure and treat it as such. Remember,
much of a child's tensions with a move involves fear of the unknown,
so your communication about what is going on can do a lot to ease
anxiety.
- Take the kids along on house-hunting trips,
or at least bring back pictures of houses you looked at. This
can build excitement about the prospect of a new house and involves
them in the process, instead of keeping it a mystery.
- Sit the family down to talk about the move on a regular
basis. Let the kids communicate their feelings, questions
and concerns without interruption, then address them. Tell them
what is going on and make decisions as a family.
- Give yourself plenty of time to prepare for the move.
Create a calendar of moving preparations and significant dates.
Post it in the kitchen where the kids can check off each milestone
as it happens.
- Help kids feel involved with the moving preparations
by giving them their own tasks, such as boxing up their toys,
sorting through their clothes and labeling boxes with their new
address.
- Make a point to visit your children's friends to say
good-bye. Consider having a going away party where your
child or children can exchange addresses and phone numbers. Make
a scrapbook of their favorite people and places in the neighborhood
they will be leaving.
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After the Move
Realize that there is a grieving period for children; it may last
for weeks or even months. Generally, the younger the child, the
easier the move. Older children and teenagers are extremely attached
to their friends, school activities and jobs. Younger children may
miss their old room, a favorite teacher or frequented park. Infants
and toddlers can simply be confused by their new surroundings.
- Explore your new neighborhood and/or city together.
Take family outings to discover fun parks, restaurants, the school
and other areas where they will be spending time. Make a map with
all the kids favorite spots marked on it.
- Encourage communication with old friends in
writing letters, e-mails or making phone calls. This is healthy
and eases the pain of transition
- Quickly enroll the kids in sports and activities
that are similar to those they were involved with in their old
neighborhood or city.
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Signals that a Child
is Having Difficulty
Some children will deal with a move better than others — some
will talk about it, some will withdraw. Watch for the following
signs that your child may be having a particularly difficult time
with a move, then consult a physician or mental health professional.
- Not asking questions about the move and avoiding the topic.
- Sleep problems, including nightmares.
- Excessive crying or frustration.
- Outbursts of anger.
- Reluctance to leave the house or be away from his/her parents.
- Reluctance to make new friends in the new neighborhood or school.
HAPPY MOVING! Resources: Helping Children
Cope with Moving (Gladden, 1992) and Moving with Children
(Gylantic, 1993), both by Dr. Tom Olkowski, Ph.D.
If there is anything we can do to help you, please let us know
by contacting us or
calling us at (206) 782-5380. We're happy to help you! |
